December 2013

Today I picked up my ring!

I'm still getting used to how real this is, that this is my future, that he will be my husband. 

He tells me how excited he is to think about me being his wife.

Thanksgiving 2013

Holidays are hard, for us both, I'm sure. I have my expectations, he has memories of years of being passed around, just not fun, ya know. But I feel like we've been able to celebrate them together pretty well. Yesterday was traditional Thanksgiving dinner. We slowly eased into the day with smooches and cuddles, cats included. Coffee and breakfast while we prepped the stuffing and turkey. Movies and snuggles on the couch, delicious food and great company. 

I think overall it was a successful day! 

(And we are both still reeling from our engagement. 

It's the best thing I could ever wish for!)

I said yes!

He asked me to marry him yesterday. The first wedding proposal I have ever received and the best and the one I really wanted. Never have I wanted to spend the rest of my life with someone as much as I look forward to being with him! 

Casual conversation at the dining room table, none of that on the knee, jumbotron craziness. Just he and I, discussing our futures. It just felt like the right thing, it feels like the right thing. 

Now to continue life as it's been, beautiful, challenging, humbling, whole. I finally really feel like all the parts have come together. 

He sent me this today.....

Graduation

We graduated from counseling yesterday! We've made a lot of progress over the last 7 months roughing it out, making us stronger, developing skills to help us through the hard times, fostering love and understanding between us. I'm incredibly proud of what we accomplished. <3

Today he wrote me....

"I heard the door close this morning as you left. Made me sad. I feel you and I need a lot of each other right now. To tell you the truth, I think it feels amazing. It feels amazing to need someone so badly, and have them there for me and have them want me too. A dream come true. You fill my heart so full. I love you with all my heart!"

Sound of Music sing-along

I can't help but brag that my incredibly wonderful boyfriend joined me for the Sound of Music sing-along, sang all the songs, kissed, loved and held my hand throughout the show, and was the most wonderful boyfriend ever! I'm so incredibly lucky to have such an amazing human being in my life!!!

1st Anniversary

It didn't start off as expected. We were anxious and irritable. We had a big fight which ended in tears for both of us, which were cleansing and helped us build a bridge to moving forward. We made pizzas on the new pizza stone he bought me and he made cheesecake which was deliciously under cooked. We had amazing sex, got pedicures, took a bath together and got a massage. I can only hope that he wants to spend his future with me as much as I want to spend my future with him. 

River

We went to the river last Friday on a whim. The weather was horrible in Portland, overcast and cold. As we drove out further into the Mt. Hood national forest, the clouds began to part and the temperature rose. The river was beautiful and it was totally worth the trip. He took some beautiful pictures while we were out there. It was exactly what I needed and amazingly recuperative!

Mexican Candy

Came home to dinner made, his strong arms and soft lips ready to soften and cradle my heart, his gentle hands to undress me. 

I was craving something sweet and he appeared with my favorite Mexican peanut marzipan candy in the palm of his hand. 

I love him. I love him with all of my heart. 

First date

Today was our first date. We've been on dates before, but today he took me out for lunch and art at the Portland art museum. We held hands and talked about the pieces of work that were inspiring. It's so easy to be together. We laugh and kiss like no one else is around. He holds me close, hand on the small of my back or in my hair, always letting me know that he is right there beside me.  

Sometimes you just need to know...

Carlton walk in the park

Gorge Trip

For some reason I'm miserable today, but he's been so gentle and kind.

We bring up marriage often. It's hard for me not to jump in head first. Even though we have our problems, there are so many signs that tell me we can always work things out. I hope someday he feels so inspired to ask me. Will be the first real proposal I've ever gotten. 

Bike Riding together

<3

Another weekend adventure...

Yesterday he said to me,

"I love you with all of my heart. I love you with all of my future love, all of my past love, and all of the love I have to give in this moment. I wake up every morning to your love and giving you my love. I go to bed every night loving you and hoping you can feel it smoldering inside me."

Spent the day at Hug Point,

photographing sea creatures, exploring caves, enjoying the beautiful weather. We were taking these photos and he said to me, with such sincerity, "You are so beautiful!" <3

I made these today.

They make me so happy!

Our first camping trip together.

No arguing about putting up the tent, or fighting about which site to pick. Great conversations the whole ride. We talked about so many important things for our future and our present. I'm so in love with this man. 

A visit to the butterfly house,

 a garden of glass, sushi and delicious dessert. Today was amazing. He said so passionately to me, while I was sitting on the hotel bed, "I love you with all of my heart."

This is really the only good moment that I caught for the day.

A hard day for us both. 

He sent me this picture today. 

It's my favorite place to be, nestled in his arms, his breath on the back of my neck, 

him whispering how much he loves me softly in my ear. 

Today he made me dinner, well mostly. And even though he was having a hard day, he was so loving to me. When I had potentially offended him, he caught himself before getting too angry and we held each other. I asked him if he would let me help him. He agreed. 

I told him I'm anxious about all the driving we have ahead of us. He calmly said that we can take our time. No rush, no pressure, no "just get over it". I felt his love and support.